A Dove Among Crows
by decambrem
Summary: Season 7. Picks up from the floor of the Teller kitchen. The journey of Jax finding out who killed his wife. Rating could change, since I'm trying to remain as true to the characters as possible.
1. Chapter 1

The devastation within the cry Jackson Teller let loose reached into a place she thought was previously numb. That cry had her rethinking her initial conclusion of Teller being an active participant of the tragedy that lay before her. Patterson took a couple of steps back, which led her to the front door. She scanned the scene outside, Mitch Turner; Tara's lawyer had just arrived and the detective was informing every one of the bodies that were found within the kitchen.

"I knew it. These people really are Godless." Patterson mumbled to herself as she step to the detective, "I want CSU down here immediately. I want to know every last thing about what happened in that kitchen, right down to composition of the goddamn tile."

Out of the corner of her eye she spotted Roosevelt's deputy and she dreaded what she knew was around the corner. The next step.

"Deputy Sheriff Cane. Unfortunately, Sheriff Roosevelt is lying dead on the Teller family's kitchen floor. Along with the bodies of Dr. Knowles and Mr. Teller. Get your kit, there's a suspected murder weapon on the floor that needs to be brought in."

Patterson turned from a stupefied Cane and walked back into the house, she watched as Teller still cradled his wife's body. Sympathy was an emotion that didn't seem to ring true for Patterson in regards to Teller right now, but she knew it was a card that she was going to have to play sometime in the course of this investigation.

She turned back to Cane as he was grabbing his kit from the inside of his truck, "I would suggest you call in for back up Deputy," she called out.

"What for?" Cane pondered in a daze from behind the truck.

Unbeknownst to him, Patterson heard the rhetorical question and decided to not let this sit as an unanswered question, "Because Deputy, once the despair is too hard to maintain, anger will take over. And it's going to take a combined effort of hell, heaven and earth to place handcuffs on Jackson Teller."

* * *

><p><strong>Over At The Ice-Cream Shop<strong>

"Smoke and bathroom break," Tig stood as he grabbed the leash of his furry, four-legged friend. Happy and Rat both got up and decided to accompany them.

As all four exited the front of the shop, Bobby turned to the back and glanced at the clock.

6:36

In his mind Bobby worked everything out. There was no way that Patterson would show up late to Jax's, hell knowing that bitch she would've been parked outside of the house at exactly 5:45. Not to mention, Jax left ten minutes before six, knowing that it only takes ten to get home. Before the thought of something being up crossed his mind, Tig and crew reentered the shop.

"Just saw CSU speeding down mainstreet." Hap announced to everyone.

"Hey Chibs, did Juice ever call you about Gem?" Tig's instant worry was to the matriarch who was nowhere to be found. "Unser said she was in bad shape, and we all know what happened last time she was in a bad place," Tig said glancing to his right at Abel who was transfixed with Legos in front of him and Thomas who was fast asleep Chibs arms.

Chibs gave a slight shake of his head. The mention of Juice left a pang of betrayal behind and his head flashed back to Jax's words earlier today. The mention of Gemma had him worry though, poor thing has no idea what's going on.

"Hey Chucky give a call to Unser over at the lot, see if he ever found out about Gemma. Tig you call Nero. Happy try Juice. I'll try calling her again," Bobby bounced out orders, while keeping his bubbling fear of his President's wellbeing down. In the background he heard a 'I accept this'.

CSU. If there was a time it had nothing to do with Samcro, please let this be the day.

* * *

><p><strong>Unser's Trailer<strong>

Gemma, still in shock and numbed by today's events, rested in Unser's lap. All the strength she had remaining only left her with the ability to cry and accept the false comfort of a dear and old friend.

A ring cut through the silence of the trailer and paralyzed the spine of Gemma. She begrudgingly raised her head to allow Unser to reach over for the phone. Nervously, she watched Unser like a hawk, looking for any signs that may indicate the reveal of Tara's death and her guilt.

"Yeah, she's here with me, you guys don't worry. I got this. How are all the guys dealing." Unser glanced over to Gemma and mouthed Chucky.

"Well okay then. I guess I'll see you guys tomorrow." Unser placed the phone on the table and turned to Gemma.

"What did nubs say?" Gemma asked while wiping the tears from her face.

"They're just like you sweetheart. They're all coping and getting through this. We'll get through this sweetheart just like we always do."

* * *

><p><strong>Back At The Ice-Cream Shop<strong>

"Nero said he doesn't know where Gem is, apparently they got into it today. Said she planned to head over to Jax's to fi," Chucky's smile interrupted Tig. Chucky continued to talk with Unser and pointed at the phone, indicating Gemma was with Unser.

"She's with Unser over at the lot and he said he's got her," Chucky informed everyone while placing the phone back on the receiver.

"Well I got no answer from Juice," Happy gave a look to Bobby as if asking if he wanted him to go out and scout.

"It's 6:41. Juice isn't our main concern. She's a little late don't you think," Bobby got up, placed a hand on Abel's head with his good arm as he walked by him. Bobby went over to the window and looked out.

All the guys gave a once over of each other dreading what the alternative could mean. Chibs eased out the stool and quietly walked over to Bobby with his Tommy boy fast asleep in his arms.

"You really don't think she would back out the deal now or run do you Bobby," Chibs shook his head, answering his own question, "she's not the type to leave the wee ones behind. Not over her dead body."

Bobby glanced over at Thomas in Chibs arms, "That's what's got me concerned."

Just as Bobby turned his body, the sound of sirens pierced through mainstreet. Five squad cars sped passed the ice cream store. Bobby looked back at Chibs and then to Tig, Hap and Rat.

"CSU and five cages leaves a bad taste in my mouth," Bobby told the guys, as he walked back to his chair Thomas squirmed in Chibs arms. The loud sirens interrupted Thomas' sleep and with a disgruntled look on his face, he opened his eyes and let out a wail that surpassed his father's own.

* * *

><p><strong>Jax and Tara's Home<strong>

As CSU arrived, Patterson knew she couldn't delay talking to Teller any longer. He had to get up, so the crime scene could be documented and detailed. There was mush needed work to be done. She walked over to the CSU guy and raised a hand as they approached the house.

"Give me a minute before you guys go in. The husband is with her body, I'm going to try to talk him down. Get him to put the body close to how he found it." Patterson motioned for Deputy Cane to come over.

"Radio-in to your back up and tell them no sirens, we don't need to startle him or set him off in any way."

"Why the precaution ma'am? He's broken." Cane wondered.

"He's an outlaw, who has his own path to justice. Yes he is broken, but in order for him to find the strength necessary to get up, I'm going to have to get reason to take its place. And trust me once it does, the only thing reasonable for that man will be anger and vengeance. So the moment we get him to move, have those cuffs ready because there's no way in hell Teller is coming with us without them. And if he does leave without them then trust me on this one to, calm and collected is much more dangerous then rage. It means he's thinking all to clearly." As Patterson walked towards the house Cane followed.

"Do you need me to go in with you?" Patterson lifted and dropped her hands with an incredulous look on her face.

"You really think Teller is going to respond well with a whole lot of uniforms storming into his home? Tell your back up no sirens. That's all I need for now deputy. I'll go in on my own." She turned, took a deep breath and entered the house again.

The scent of bleach and blood burned its way into her lungs. She walked into kitchen and took in the scene once again.

Jackson Nathaniel Teller and Tara Grace Knowles. Jesus, their names alone were opposites. His was a strong name and hers was so gentle.

The only sound in the house was the 'I'm so sorry's coming from Teller. She took one more deep breath and approached this man the only way she thought made sense. She scanned a part of the floor that wasn't covered in blood, as she did so; she took a long gaze at Eli and felt deep hurt for the man lying dead.

She kneeled to the floor and placed a hand on Jackson's foot.

"Jackson. You know what needs to happen next. And for that to happen you need to let go of the body. CSU needs to come in and do their jobs." Patterson leaned forward to try and catch his eyes. To try and make some sort of emotional connection to Teller.

Jax raised his head as if the entire world was placed upon his shoulder and stared at Patterson. His face was coated with tears and as red as the blood that stained the floor. He looked down at Tara once more and just smiled.

"My job was to protect her. To love her. To shelter her. And now she's lying on her kitchen floor dead."

Patterson sighed, "Jackson the only way figure out the why, the how and who which led to her death is for you to get up. You have to put her down."

Jax started to move Tara out of his arms, "The why was because she loved me, the how was because she chose to stay by my side and the who…"Jax placed her head in the blood in which it first laid when he found her.

He stood as Patterson rose to her feet and they meet each other's eyes.

"The who will feel how personal this is for me." Jax walked over to where her Tara's purse sat on the table next to her keys. He felt the tears subside and the anger, the need to hurt someone or something come to the surface.

Patterson walked past Jackson to glance out of the opened door. She once again scanned the front yard, her eyes first took in the back up that had arrived and then they gazed left. To the little tricycle turned over in the grass, forgotten, and ball next to it. She then immediately thought of the children and her heart sank to a new low when the realization hit her. She just stood their and let that weight sweep over her and looked up to Deputy Sheriff Cane and nodded.

She looked back at Teller who was just standing over his wife's purse, deep in his own thoughts.

Now.

She signaled for them to move in.

"Mr. Teller, we need you to come with us. We are not charging you for anything here yet, but we need to bring you in for questioning. The how of _this_ situation depends on you Teller. I don't want to walk you out of here in handcuffs, but if need be it will happen. So I'm asking you for your full cooperation in the investigation of Sheriff Roosevelt and Dr. Knowles' murder."

Jax looked at Patterson, a sneer developed, and the change in his eyes had her step back. The despair was finally too hard to maintain and rage was about to take its place.

"Yet? Are you standing here, in my kitchen where my wife – the mother of my two sons, lays dead less than a foot away from me with the thought that I had a hand in her murder?"

"Not at all Mr. Teller, however, there's a gun that I'm assuming is covered in your finger prints and a dead sheriff with bullet holes in his back. In the days that I've known you, ignorant hasn't crossed my mind. You are very well versed in the law Mr. Teller since you preside on the other side of it. And protocol would have me take you in, for questioning. Please, Mr. Teller do not resist." Patterson turned her head to her back-up and placed a hand up telling them to hold off for now.

Jackson glanced back at his wife, and let his body follow his eyes. He just stood there for what felt like eternity and stared at Tara. And with each second his eyes lingered on her, death washed over him. He sharply turned, which led to the officers moving their hands to their waists, and simply said, "My sons."

"Call my mother, if you can't get ahold of her then call Chibs Telford and tell him what happened. They're all still at the ice cream shop with my sons. They need to know. My sons need a place to sleep tonight, Tara packed all their stuff up so nothing is here. Everything is in her car, back at the shop." Jax shifted his feet and shuffled towards the group of people and just muttered a weak, "let's go."


	2. Chapter 2

As Jax climbed into the back of Cane's car, the memory of Tara being arrested flashed inside of his head and the guilt hit him like no other. The sting of tears and the burning sensation inside his nose came rushing back.

Unable to hold the weight of his head, he leaned forward and rested his arms on his knees, as he glanced down he saw JT's tattoo that adorned his right forearm.

The thought of getting Tara's name tattooed on him in remembrance like his father brought on a fresh wave of tears that steamed their way down his face.

* * *

><p><strong>Outside Jax's and Tara's Home<strong>

"Put him in a holding cell for now. A private one, not the one where you have them on display like an animal show. At the very least we can give him that." Patterson told Cane as she walked back inside the house.

CSU had already started to do their initial walkthrough, documenting the scene in notepads and video.

Michael Rhodes, head of this team approached Patterson as she walked back into the crime scene.

"Was anything disturbed?"

"Unfortunately yes."

"What was touched?" Rhodes questioned as he turned back to the kitchen to try and gain a deeper understanding of what happened.

"The woman. The husband found her and held her. He placed the body back as he found it, but I know that upsets the whole damn thing."

"She was the wife to Jackson Teller correct? Sons of Anarchy president." He walked towards Tara's purse and keys, examined them intently, then abruptly turned and headed into laundry room.

"Yes. She was in a very precarious position for these past three weeks. She was being charged with conspiracy to murder a nurse from Stockton Prison. The man who murdered the nurse was a member who flipped and gave up the means for RICO."

"Well how convenient. I'm going to assume said felon's testimony got tossed. So how does she go from being charged with conspiracy to murder to this," Rhodes exited the laundry room and took a quick glance at Roosevelt, "along with a dead Sheriff. How does he fit into all of this?"

"Protection. Dr. Knowles has two sons who are also in a very precarious situation; their father is a gun running felon with some nonlinear ties to some very dangerous organizations. She was in between what some might call a rock and a hard place. She was looking at full immunity for her and her boys. I was offering Witsec last night, but she didn't show. She took the boys and split. Her lawyer and I talked, she was going to make a deal earlier on today."

"So that's why she's dead. A little obvious and whole lot of sloppy don't you think?" He bent over Tara carefully, writing down notes of what he saw.

"No. Teller was going to give himself up. Trade himself only, not the club, for her freedom."

He stood and turned to Patterson, "Well this definitely was not a calculated kill on any platform. There's a lot of facial bruising. Anger. Rage. You think a club member took it upon himself to take her out. You know get rid of the reason for his impending incarceration. Or maybe it was all just a front from the jump."

Rhodes walked over to Patterson to where she was standing next to the cabinet. He turned and surveyed the room once again.

"Did you get a statement from the husband?"

Patterson placed a hand on her hip and turned back to the front door," Not yet."

"You think it's smart to give him time. Let him sit with all of this, build a story."

"I highly doubt he had a hand in this. You didn't see the man; he's an outlaw not an actor. Plus I _want_ him to sit with this. I want him alone with his thoughts. I want him to feel the weight of everything that woman sacrificed for him. And when that weight settles he'll want blood to relieve it. And when he does spill blood, I'll be close behind him to lock his ass up."

Patterson pulled out her phone and left the room. And let CSU do their thing.

Flashes of light started to go off. Samples of the water in the sink and on the tile were taken. Dry areas of the floor and counters were being dusted. The door in the laundry room was also being dusted as well for fingerprints. Detectives were moving in to gather any pertinent evidence.

Patterson walked over to the nearest officer, "I'll stick around in case you guys need a warrant for anything. Oh and get me the number for Gemma Teller."

* * *

><p><strong>Back at the Ice-cream Shop<strong>

7:03

Thomas now rested in his carrier and Abel was beginning to grow restless. He constantly asked where his mommy was and the 'she's on her way' wasn't holding up with him anymore.

"Hap, Tiggy and me are going to swing by the house and find out what's happening. Bobby, Rat you two stay here with Chucky and the boys." Chibs got up and head to the door.

"I'll go with you guys." Bobby shuffled out of the chair.

"Not only can you not ride brother, you need to be here just in case Tara shows up. She'll probably feel more comfortable with just you and Rat anyways. She trusts you the most. We got this brother."

Tig and Happy were already outside and ready to go, but Chibs turned to Abel and put a hand on his head.

"Don't worry kiddo, we'll go get your mommy," he placed a kiss on his head and walked out the shop and took off towards Jax and Tara's place.

* * *

><p><strong>Jax and Tara's House<strong>

No Answer. As she shut her phone, she looked at her watch.

7:16

She walked over to one of the detectives.

"Anything useful?"

"If all the husband did was touch the wife, then someone else tampered with scene. There're smears on the floor. My guess the bleach and blood filled water sloshed all over the place. Shoes step in the water, which leaves dirt and residue. That got cleaned up. Also the murder weapon for Tara Knowles-Teller is not on the scene. I don't think that the gun on scene was the one used, but it's getting sent to forensics. We'll have more concrete answers then. It was a vicious and brutal kill on the woman. That without question is concrete."

The detective sighed heavily and shrugged his shoulders.

"I know the life that surrounds this family and that in there makes no sense at all. It's neither a calculated kill nor is it a message, whoever killed the woman was filled with animosity towards the doctor. My guess, family or someone close killed that one. Someone else killed Roosevelt though from behind." The detective walked back over to his car. He glanced down the street as he heard the familiar roar of motorcycles. Instantly, he turned to Patterson and shook his head, the impending riot was coming closer.

Patterson walked over to the curb as three motorcycles came to a stop. All three rushed to the front door, pass Patterson and the officers.

"You can't go in. Mr. Telford I was just about to call you since I received no answer from Gemma Teller. Your president told me to get in contact with you and let you know what happened." Patterson rushed pass the officers that littered the driveway as all three men bulldozed their way in.

From outside she heard the 'Jesus Christ' from the Scotsman and Trager.

"If you three would please step on out and let these people do their jobs, I can do the job Jackson Teller tasked me with."

Chibs stormed pass Happy and Tig and approached her aggressively, tears shined bright in his eyes. The officers all took a step towards Patterson, ready to draw if need be.

"What happened here goddamn it? Whoever did this is dead! Where is Jax?" Happy stepped forward and placed a hand on Chibs to pull him back.

"Someone murdered Dr. Tara Knowles and Sheriff Roosevelt is what happened. Who, how, why, what, and when? I don't know. That's what everyone here is trying to figure out. Mr. Teller is now at the San Joaquin Sheriff's office. We're holding him for questioning. We will also be questioning all the members and family of this club, so stay local boys." Patterson turned away from them, but then she remembered something that shook her core.

Patterson knew these men and where their loyalties sat, considering most of the men were willing to put a bullet in the back of this woman's skull if push came to shove in order protect their little biker brigade.

She would have to play this one smart.

"Where's Gemma Teller?" Patterson asked as she turned to face three men once again, "Teller requested that she take the boys, but as I said before, no answer. Do you boys know where she is?"

"Yeah. We'll tell her." Tig responded despondently, the gravity of what he just saw inside the house resonated in his speech and posture.

As Chibs was about to float another anger-filled question towards the DA, an additional van joined the many that littered the street.

All four turned their heads to its general direction and took a collective heavy sigh at the sight of the bright yellow letters that adorned the black van.

CORONER

Two men climbed out the van and walked to the four. The shorter male nodded his head at the three men and approached Patterson.

"Are they ready to transport the bodies to St. Thomas?"

"I think so, but I'm not sure," she turned to Happy, Tig and Chibs, "you three should contact Teller's mother and get those boys somewhere familiar. They need family right now."

Patterson signaled one of the coroners to follow her back inside.

"What they need is their father right now." Chibs shouted out after her.

"Well at this moment he is indisposed. Their grandmother is going to have do momentarily. I'm assuming they'll be staying at her place." She casually wanted to find out the location of Gemma Teller.

She wanted her to feel safe, secure. She wanted her to sit tonight with her grandchildren before she pressed her.

"Yeah they'll be with her for the time being." Happy said as he pulled out his phone.

"Teller will be released sometime tomorrow. He'll give you a call when we're done with him." Patterson turned away from them to head back into the house.

Chibs turned to Tig and Happy, "You two go back to the shop, and call Unser let him know what happened. Get him to take Gem home. Call Bobby before you get there let him know what happened, don't spring it on him with the kids there. Bobby has the keys to Tara's car. Oh, and call Nero let him know. Ask if he'll stay with Gem and give her a hand." Chibs turned to step towards the porch of the house.

"What are you going to be doing?" Tig questioned as he took his cell from his kutte. Happy had already turned to call Bobby to let him know the state of Tara.

"I'm looking after her. Jackie would want someone here." Chibs said as he sat on the police car closest to the door.

"Okay brother."

Happy and Tig both walked back to their bikes and continued delivering the news all around.

* * *

><p><strong>Sheriff's Office<strong>

114 tiles

Instead of just simply staring at the ceiling and pushing himself deeper into despair, he thought counting the tiles on the ceiling would serve as an apt distraction.

But it wasn't working anymore; every tile just faded off into a reflection her. He couldn't see anything but her face.

Jax raised his hands to cover his eyes in an effort to drown out the pain and as he did so his fingers rubbed together. His wedding ring just felt like a ton bricks.

He lifted his left hand and stared at the wedding band.

It no longer represented his vow to his wife. Just his failures.

His failed ability to give her a beautiful life.

His failed ability to help her find her place.

His failed ability to move all the things she was scared of far away from her.

His failed ability to not lie to her.

His failed ability to never hurt her.

Or their sons.

Then the thought of his children flooded his mind.

His sons no longer have a mother. All they have is their useless father who can't do anything right. The thought of having to explain to Abel his mommy won't be coming home soon this time around hitched his breathing.

She's not coming back this time.

She's never coming back.


	3. Chapter 3

Imp. A/N below. This chapter is shorter than the other two, but I wanted this one to stand alone. Without any breaks in between scenes.

* * *

><p><strong>Unser's Trailer<strong>

Wayne's hand shook as he placed the phone face down on the table. He raised his hand from the phone and then placed it once again on Gemma's sleeping body. He ran his hand from the top her head to the very ends of her hair.

Her semi-wet hair.

Wayne lifted his hand abruptly, as if he had been burned and placed it on the phone once again. He flipped the phone over and just absently gazed at the green lit screen. 7:29.

No.

No.

No.

Wayne's gaze then drifted to her hands tucked under her head that were braced in his lap.

Her hands couldn't.

Her hands could.

Her hands couldn't.

But they could.

All of a sudden the conversation between himself and Gemma that took place in his truck just six days ago flashed into his mind.

Sweet, deep love that's so wrapped around secrets and hate her capability to find said sweet and deep love is lost.

Two roads.

One that's slow and uncomfortable, but one that would eventually lead her back to those boys.

And the road she's already on.

She had to have gotten off that road.

"Gem."

Unser placed the phone down once again and gently shook her arm.

"Gem, sweetheart, you gotta wake up."

Gemma's bloodshot eyes shot open and her body went along with it. She pitched forward out of Unser's lap and turned to face him.

Shock adorned her facial features.

"Gemma, you okay?" Unser reached out a hand and placed it on her shaking her hand.

"Yeah. Yeah just a little you know, hung over I guess. On the alcohol and the day."

She placed her feet on the ground and rested her elbows on her knees. Her head hung low into her palms.

"Tig just called me Gemma. I was wrong earlier today."

She lifted her head slowly, "What do you mean wrong Wayne?"

"About Tara. Apparently she wasn't the one who made a deal."

Gemma stood up and placed her hands on the table. She slightly turned her head to the right and shook her head at Wayne.

"What the hell are you talking about Wayne?"

"Jax turned himself in. He was going give himself up as the source of the KG-9 the Jenning's kid used in the school shooting. That's why Tara's lawyer called me. He couldn't give me full details at the time though."

Gemma pushed off the table and opened the trailer door.

"Woah Gemma! Where are you going?"

Unser got up and picked up the keys to her Caddy and his cell and took off after her.

"Gemma, where are you going?"

"Where are my boys? Abel and Thomas. Where are they? I have to see them, Wayne."

"Sweetheart, slowdown. Abel and Thomas are alright. But I gotta tell you something else. About Jax and about….Tara."

Unser walked towards her as she stood next to her Caddy.

"When Jax was going home to turn himself in….. he umm, he found Tara's body. I'm so sorry Gemma, but he found her lying dead in the house. Along with Sheriff Roosevelt. Patterson had him taken in for questioning."

"Jesus Christ. I have to see them. Where are Jax and the boys?"

"Jax is spending the night in the Sheriff Department's holding cell; he asked if you can take the boys to your place. Watch over them. Tara was supposed to pick them up from the shop after Jax was taken in. All their stuff is there, in Tara's car. Tig and the guys are there. Do you want to pick them up or should they just drive them straight to your place?"

Gemma walked around to the passenger side, opened the door and sat in the car.

Unser stared at her through the driver side window.

Unable to read her.

Unser opened the door, climbed in and shut the door.

The silence within the SUV was deafening. And frightening.

Tara was dead.

The mother of Abel and Thomas was dead.

The wife of Jackson Teller was dead.

Her daughter-in-law was dead.

And if the gut feeling he developed as being a cop for over four decades was right – if it was right…..

"So whaddya want to do?"

"Have Tig take them to my place, it'll give me a chance to clean up a bit. They shouldn't see me like this."

Unser reached in his pocket for his phone and Gemma's keys.

Keys. Unser palmed the keys.

"Umm, listen Gemma….. this afternoon when I came to your place. You….."

Gemma turned and looked at him. Right in the eye.

"Please don't sit there and ask me that question Wayne. You're looking for an answer that I don't have for you."

She turned her head away from Wayne.

"I had a bit of a rough day. Hell! More like a rough week. From Clay being killed and buried, my daughter-in-law framing me for a fake miscarriage. A restraining order. The threat of my son being hauled off jail, hell my whole family taken away from me! The only thing I got left being taken away from me." Gemma paused and took a deep breath. A shuddering one.

"He um broke up with me today. That bastard knew all the shit I was dealing with and he decided today of all days was the day to break whatever good I had left. I can't lose you to Wayne. You're the only thing I got left in this town. I love you Wayne. More than you have ever realized."

She reached out and squeezed his hand.

"When you showed up to the house today, it was right after Nero um, after he decided now would be the best time to end it. After you told me about Tara, I drove up to Diosa to see him, to try and get perspective or something. But I couldn't go in. I just parked in the back and…"

Gemma released Unser's hand and brushed her bangs back.

"I headed home, took a shower and came here. To you Wayne, because you were all I got left. But now…" Gemma trailed off and looked out her window, "I got to see them Wayne. I just have to hold them. I need to just hold them. I have to hold my babies, they don't have anyone. They need to know they're not alone. Please Wayne, let's just go. Let's just go. I need to hold them,. I love them so much. I love them so much. They need me. So let's just go."

The moon shined into the silent car and illuminated the tears that streamed down Gemma's face.

"Okay, I'll call Tig and then we'll go."

Unser looked at her.

She couldn't.

He shook his head.

She didn't.

She didn't.

Just because she's capable, doesn't mean she did.

She didn't.

She didn't.

She could not.

She did not.

* * *

><p>AN: Just want to say thank you for all the kind reviews, it makes my heart swell with joy and puts a smile on my face. I know it's such a pain to know Gemma will be around the kids, but realistically speaking she will probably be taking care of those kids for the time being.

Also I just want to say thank you for pointing out to me the mistake I made with switching Happy and Rat. I was so torn on who to send with Chibs and Tig and kept vacillating between Happy and Rat, but after thinking about who would actually go, Happy seemed to be the more logical choice since he's Sgt. at Arms. I obviously missed that error so I just want to say thank you so much for pointing that out to me and I will be fixing that.

And once again thank you so much for reviews. They mean so much. I'll try to do these little A/Ns more often, just to touch base.


	4. Chapter 4

**Ice-Cream Shop**

Tig pocketed his phone and turned to Bobby.

"She wants us to take them to her place. She'll meet us there."

"Okay let's go downstairs, pack up the place for the night. Have Chucky lock up."

Bobby and Tig got up and walked towards the door, but Bobby put a hand on Tig's chest to stop him.

Bobby turned and looked at him.

"How bad was it brother?"

"You mean could this be from about today? The boneyard and what Barosky said?"

"I'm just trying to make sense of this. It just makes no sense. Did it look like a message or retaliation?"

Tig hung his head and shook it in a silent no.

"I didn't get a clear look, but from what I saw nothing seemed to be a message for SAMCRO and if it was, Patterson would have pressed us harder. Detained us on suspicion or to question us."

"Yeah, you're right. Plus a dead sheriff. No one wants that kind of heat. Ugh. Jesus Christ. Poor girl. Out of all us, she didn't deserve it. She didn't deserve it."

Tig put a hand on Bobby's good shoulder and squeezed.

"Let's get her kids somewhere safe for the night. Gemma will take care of them."

Tig and Bobby left the reaper table room and walked downstairs.

Abel noticed Bobby and threw down his Legos.

"Is mommy on her way now?"

"Nope, but guess who you'll be spending the night with. Grandma!"

Tig ran over and picked him up.

"We're heading over there right now."

He placed him on the floor and started to help Rat and Happy pack up all his toys.

"Chucky we need you to lock up."

"I accept that."

Bobby walked behind the counter to replace the phone on the receiver.

"Where's Tara?" Chucky whispered to Bobby as Abel went to go pet the sleeping dog.

"Not now Chuck. Not now. Just lock up for us."

"I accept that too." Chucky nodded his head and walked to the back of the store to lock the back door.

"Happy, Rat you drive the boys to Gemma's. Tig and I will follow in the van. Chucky is gonna stay behind and lock up."

Happy grabbed Thomas' carrier and Rat put Abel's hand in one and his toy carrier in the other.

Tig loaded Bobby and his dog up into the van, while Happy and Rat squared away Abel and Thomas.

"Is mommy and daddy at grandmas?" Abel questioned Happy as he put him in his car seat.

Happy looked up and made eye contact with Rat.

"Sorry little man, it's going to be a little while longer until you see them. But Grandma and Uncle Wayne will be there. Promise."

Happy mussed up his hair and placed his beloved toad plushie in his arms.

Everyone started their respected cars and took off to Gemmas.

Tig & Bobby

"I called Chibs, told him the plan. Also called Nero, told him what happened."

"Good we need all the help we can get. He's gonna need all the help he can get."

Jax & Tara's

Patterson watched as they placed paper bags on Tara's hands and over her shoes. They then started to load her up. Roosevelt's body had already been hauled away.

She stepped out and watched the Scotsman resting on the police car watching everything like a hawk.

" , unofficially, any ideas?"

"There's no such thing as unofficial when it comes to DAs."

She tilted and nodded her head and gave a sardonic smile. Good point.

She glanced back and saw that the coroner was ready to carry her out. She walked down the steps towards Chibs and stood back.

The two men held both ends of the stretcher and carefully made their way down the steps. Chibs and Patterson both watched on as they broke down the wheels to cart her off to the van for an autopsy.

As they passed, Chibs stepped away from the car and placed a hand out for them to stop.

He leaned over the stretcher and brought his hand over the black body bag where her head lay.

His hand just hovered.

And tears just fell.

"I'm so sorry sweetheart. We'll find who did this, I promise you. And we'll watch over your children, keep them safe. Just know his love will forever transcend death. May you find some peace until he finds you once again."

Chibs raised his hand and as he began to back away something compelled him and he found himself reaching over once again. This time his hand did more than just hover, it touched.

Chibs whispered through the tears, "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry he closed his fist. He's so sorry."

He stepped back and signaled to the men to take her.

He stood back and watched everyone start to load up. The porch light shut off. The front door was shut and yellow tape surrounded the entire area.

He walked over to Patterson.

"Tell him it's taken care of."

And walked away, got on his motorcycle and took off.

In search of Juice.

* * *

><p><strong>Gemma's<strong>

As Unser and Gemma arrived at her house, they saw a familiar blue car parked in the driveway.

"I can't deal with this right now."

Nero got out the car and walked over to Gemma's side and opened the door.

"I heard about Tara. I'm so sorry Mama."

Gemma walked out the car, as Unser climbed out.

"If you're here to rub more salt in my wou –" Gemma vehemently uttered.

"No mama, just a shoulder and a hand. The guys called and told me everything that happened. Suggested I come by and help out."

Unser sadly looked on at the exchange.

"So you're here because they asked you to babysit me, please. It may have been awhile since I've been dumped but if I recall the dumper usually doesn't come crawling back until after the cordial 24 hours have past."

Gemma nodded at Unser and they both started to walk up the stairs and into the house. Nero helplessly followed her.

"I just want to help Gem. Let me help. What happened earlier was just shit with my crew pressing me about the Sons and you're involved with all that so I admit I lost perspective for a moment. And unfortunately it's the ones we love, the ones who're too close that end up getting hurt. I'm sorry. Let me help."

As Gemma was walking away she called out, "You can help me with the boys tonight."

Nero turned to Unser as he shut the door.

"Jesus mano, what the hell happened."

"Same shit that always happens in this goddamn town."

* * *

><p><strong>Jax &amp; Tara's<strong>

Patterson climbed into her SUV.

"Did you get it for him?" She asked the man in the driver seat.

"Yeah, it's in the backseat."

"Okay let's go then."

Ice-Cream Shop

Chucky was placing the store key in his pocket when he heard the familiar roar of a motorcycle coming down mainstreet.

The bike parked across the street and as Chucky turned he saw the familiar jagged tattoos shining off the head of Juice.

"Hey Chuck, where is everyone?"

Juice placed his hands in his kutte and rocked on his heels.

"They all went over to Gemma's with the boys. Um… some stuff went down. I don't know details, but you should probably head over there yourself."

"You good here?"

"Yeah. Just finished locking up."

Juice nodded his head and started to walk back to his bike. He turned and watched Chucky as he climbed onto his scooter.

"Wait! Chucky, who went over to Gemma's exactly?"

Chucky took off his red helmet, " Tig, Bobby, Happy, Rat and the boys."

"Wait, Tara didn't come for them?"

"No she didn't show. Tig, Chibs and Happy went over to her place to check it out. They came back without Chibs though."

"Did something happen to him?"

"Nah, I didn't pick up a vibe that something bad happened to him, but you should probably head over to Gemma's."

"Thanks Chuck. Head on home."

"I accept that."

Juice walked back over to his bike and sat on it. He watched Chucky pull on out and take off down main street with his cashmere scarf blowing in the wind behind him.

He placed his helmet on his head and secured the latch.

"I did good Clay."

* * *

><p><strong>Sheriff's Office<strong>

Patterson opened the door to Roosevelt's office and stood inside examining his accolades hung on the wall. She studied the picture of the black and white hands reaching out together.

She walked over to his desk and brushed a hand over a picture of him and his wife.

"Sorry just doesn't seem to quite cut it." She uttered as she took her hand off the picture and sat in his seat.

"Sorry seems way too easy for tonight's living breathing tragedy."

Two short curt knocks sounded from the door.

"Come in."

Deputy Sheriff Cane entered and his face contorted with disbelief.

"No offense, but really."

"I need a place for now, and this is unoccupied for the time being. Might as well make use of it. Practicality is the name of the game Deputy."

"I'll keep that one in mind. Teller is in holding, whenever you're ready you can go and see him."

He turned to leave.

"Deputy, I have a professional and personal question to ask of you."

"Ask away ma'am."

She leaned forward and placed her hands on the desk.

"Gemma Teller. Personally."

"You mean could she be involved in this?"

"Take away tonight's events. Just, Gemma Teller, period."

Deputy Cane took a deep breath and exhaled loudly. He shifted his feet right to left.

"She loves this town. Practically helped make it what it is. She has no love for the law, but then again none of them do. She's not afraid to put her hands on a cop that's for sure."

"Professionally."

"She's an outlaw, like the rest of them. One way or another she belongs behind bars. Professionally speaking of course. She has a history. She shot and killed someone, in self-defense. Evading arrest. Assault. We did pick her up on a domestic involving Tara Knowles. He let her go though since the details of that event were and still are unclear."

Patterson nodded her head.

"Send Teller to me."

"Here? Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm very sure. I want to speak to him privately."

"Cuff him?"

"No, bring him as he is."

Ten Minutes Later

The door opened and Jackson Teller walked in.

His shirt, jeans and hands still had remnants of her blood.

His eyes didn't look like they did early on today, they were once a sea of confliction. Now they're just a void of lost hope.

"Please sit, ."

He shook his head, "I'm fine where I am."

Patterson signaled to Cane to leave and shut the door.

"Jackson, please sit."

He shuffled over to the chair and slowly sat. It was like the only thing holding him together was tape and glue.

"Our ties just seem to keep growing and growing."

Jax raised his head and just stared at her.

It was one hell of a haunting stare.

He was physically here, but he wasn't. Whatever semblance of reality he had has just shifted or just entirely disappeared altogether.

"I'm very sorry for you loss seems to be cruel of a thing to say, so why not try this. What happened from the time I left Barnes Motel to when I arrived at your home?"

"I spoke with my wife, I left, I spent time with my boys, I said goodbye. I drove home to say goodbye to my wife and trust me the irony of the situation is not lost on me. I don't know what happened. I came in called out to her, I took my kutte and jacket off. It's still hanging on the hook. Something felt wrong. I looked in the kitchen and saw blood and the Roosevelt's feet. I pulled my weapon and…."

The gaze he held all the while telling his version of the story, sent shivers down Patterson's spine.

"Okay then. Well your weapon is being sent off to forensics. I won't keep you, I can imagine your boys need you at this time. Mr. Telford showed up at your house along with two other of your associates. They took off to take care of your boys; Mr. Telford stayed behind and looked out for her. I brought you a change of clothes. You can clean up before you see them."

Jax got up out of the seat and walked over to the door.

He raised one hand to knock on the door and a broken, "Thank you," escaped his lips.

He knocked once and the door opened to reveal Deputy Cane.

He stepped out and Patterson called out to him.

"Mr. Teller, please do not let today's tragedy eclipse the tragedy of four dead children. That's another price that has yet to be paid."

She tilted her head in a salute.


	5. Chapter 5

**Gemma's House**

Unser and Nero both stood at the roar of a motorcycle. Both a little on edge.

Nero walked over to the kitchen door and pulled back the curtain slightly to reveal Chibs. He quickly grabbed the door knob and opened the door for him.

He walked in and just looked at the men. There was a silence that sat between them. All three looking at each other, yet not seeing one another.

"Where's Jax?" Nero asked as he sat back down.

"Sheriff's office. Patterson should be releasing him either tonight or sometime tomorrow. Where's Gemma?"

"She's taking a shower. Cleaning up before the boys get here."

Chibs made his way to a chair and sank into it. The events of today just pulled him down.

"Any of you seen Juice, we haven't seen him sin –", Chibs started until a beep from the driveway sounded.

With that beep, Gemma rushed from her bedroom. She was wearing a red and black plaid flannel, jeans and her hair was blow dried and in a ponytail. A little make up adorned her weary face.

Chibs immediately stood and embraced her in a hug.

"I'm so sorry mom."

She unwrapped herself from Chibs strong embrace and rubbed her hands over her face.

She gave a short and curt, "yeah me too," before rushing to the door to get to the boys.

Happy was the first inside holding Abel's hand, then Rat with Thomas' carrier. Bobby and Tig along with the dog all piled in after them.

She got down to her knees and embraced Abel in a tight hug.

"I missed you sweetheart."

"Where's mommy?"

Unser watched from the background and he did not miss the way Gemma's eye darted everywhere, not once coming into contact with Abel's face.

Ringing from Chibs kutte shattered the stillness of the room. He opened his phone and left the room to go outside to take the call.

Nero stepped up and grabbed Abel's arm and kneeled down in front him.

"Hey buddy. How about we grab a shower, grab some cookies and milk and head off to bed for story time? "

Abel smiled at the sound of cookies and nodded his head. He instantly kicked his shoes and socks off and ran down the hallway to the bathroom leaving a trail of clothing behind.

"I'll take care of him." Nero said as he picked up Abel's shoes and socks. He placed a hand on the side of Gemma's face and kissed her forehead. He then rushed after Abel while picking up his clothes, scattered and left behind.

"Thomas' portacrib is in the closet, we can place it in Jax's old room," she told the guys as she walked down the hallway to retrieve it.

"Hap, give her hand," Tig told him as Chibs came back inside.

"That was Jackie. Patterson is releasing him; I'm gonna go pick him up."

"Here take my truck." Unser reached into his pockets and tossed the keys to Chibs.

"Okay I'll be back soon."

As Chibs left Gemma and Happy returned with the red and black portacrib.

"Where's he going?" she questioned as she directed Happy to place the portacrib in Jax's old room.

"Jax. He's out." Bobby simply said.

She walked over to the table where Thomas' carrier was placed and reached in. She unbuckled him from it and cradled him in her arms.

"I'm going to go put him down."

"Oh wait. Rat go grab the suitcase with their stuff, there should be a change of clothes," Bobby ordered Rat as he went to grab Tara's keys on the kitchen table.

"No it's okay, Tara kept a change here just in case. Actually, Rat if you could go into the linen closet, second door on the left down the hall and grab some sheets. I want change the bedspread. It's covered in junkie sweat."

She walked into the room as Happy was leaving it and she shut the door behind her.

**Inside Jax's Room**

She grabbed the heel of Thomas' little Nike sneakers and pulled them off gently along with his socks. She placed a hand on Thomas' sleeping body and drew circles over his belly, all the while humming Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.

She walked over to the dresser and pulled out a Sesame Street tee. She grabbed a clean diaper from the sleepover bag Tara kept in the room.

"Okay Thomas let's take these off," she sang as she pulled his jeans down slowly and carefully.

"And these," she bunched the back of the shirt up to his neck and pulled the shirt over his head gently. She released his arms from the confines of the previous shirt and tossed it on the bed.

The door opened to reveal Bobby holding the clean linen in his good hand.

"Here you go sweetheart."

"Thanks darling."

"Need any help?"

"No I just want to spend some time with him alone. Ya know?" She walked over to the waste bin and tossed the old diaper out and grabbed the sheets from Bobby. Bobby suddenly reached out and took hold of her wrist.

"You okay mom?"

"My daughter-in-law is dead and my grandchildren have no mother. I'm as okay as anyone can expect me to be." She snatched her hand from Bobby and sighed.

"I'm fine Bobby. We'll get through this like we do everything else. We hold onto family."

Bobby walked over to the bed, sat and stared at Thomas.

"Jax. I don't know what head space he's in right now, hell, I don't want to know. But Tara was his world, no matter what was done these past two weeks, _she_ was what kept that boy _sane_. Kept him _here_. Regardless if she was by his side or a thousand miles away, just knowing she was alive somewhere and safe centered that boy. And the way he was raised, the way he was brought up, in this world. People like him need that. Need that someone." Bobby sighed and looked into Gemma's eyes.

"I know without a shadow of a doubt, he won't make it. He can't hold onto family anymore Gem, because Tara was that. Tara made him want to do better, he may have lost his way for bit, but today he found it again. The Jax that was going to give himself up to protect his wife, his _family_, was a Jax I haven't seen in a long time. He was at peace for the first time in a long time and now I do –"

"ENOUGH!"

A wail cut through the air and Thomas started kick his legs and arms. Bobby just stared at Gemma as rushed over to pick up and console Thomas. He then got up and walked over to the door.

"I'm sorry sweetheart, but I don't know how Jax is going to try to live up to Tara's wishes and be _here_. He's gonna be lost for a while. If not the end." Bobby walked out the room and closed the door.

Thomas began to quiet down after Gemma placed his binky in his mouth. She moved to put a clean diaper and clean shirt on him. She picked him up when she was done and cradled him.

"We'll figure this out sweetie. Daddy and grandma aren't going anywhere. You're staying right here, safe in my arms." She placed chaste kiss on his forehead and started to sing a lullaby.

* * *

><p><strong>Outside Sheriff's Office<strong>

Chibs leaned against the hood of Unser's truck as he waited for Jax to come out. As he sat there Juice kept coming back to him. Jax told him he couldn't be trusted, but never explained why he reneged the chance he was giving him. He pulled out his phone and tried Juice for what felt like the hundredth time. On the fourth ring, Juice answered.

"Hello."

"Juice where've you been?"

"I went looking for Gemma, I couldn't find her so I headed back to the shop. By the time I got back Chucky already locked up and told me everyone headed to Gemmas'. That's where I am now, I'm about to go inside."

"Stay there and whatever you do, don't leave. I'm on my way there." Chibs hung up and closed the phone when he saw Jax exit the building holding a clear plastic bag.

He stood up straight, off the hood of the car and walked to meet him halfway.

Jax just shook his head and walked past him to Unser's car. Got inside and shut the door.

He walked back to the car and got in alongside Jax.

As he put the key in the ignition Jax turned to him.

"Two things. Nero and Juice. Where are they?" A deep scowl etched itself on Jax's face.

With a sigh Chibs turned to him, "Just got off the phone with Juice, he's at Gemma's. So is Nero."

Jax nodded, "Good two birds, one stone."

"Jackie," Chibs started.

"No. I can't right now. Not right now. I can't." Jax continued to shake his head. He rubbed his face with both hands. "I can't brother. I can't."

"Okay."

The drive over to Gemma's was silent, but foreboding. Chibs could feel the sadness morphing into hatred and rage. He watched Jax clench and unclench his hands for the eighth time. It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out where Jax was taking his grief. It really didn't. Anger rolled off of him in waves.

As they pulled into the driveway, Jax jumped out of the car and leaned on the door. Chibs walked over to him and just watched him stare at Tara's car.

"Bring them out here."

"Jackie are sure you want do thi –"

"Get them or I will."

He watched Chibs turn on his heel and head up the stairs. As he did so, he turned and took his rings off and placed them in his pocket.

* * *

><p><strong>Five Minutes Later<strong>

Nero walked out the house and made his way down the steps slowly. Jax's back was to him as he approached Unser's truck. The sound of Gemma's front door opening once again had Jax turn away from truck and face Nero. He glanced upward and saw Juice come out the house followed by Chibs and Bobby.

"Jax, whatever you need I'm here, mano."

Jax started to pace back and forth like a caged animal, shaking his head. As the other three men started to approach Nero, Jax turned to him.

"You think shit like that just gets buried, just goes away. It doesn't. And when it comes back it makes you pay. Right? Right?"

Nero took two steps backs and three forward.

"You think I had something to do with your wife? Jax, no. No."

Nero walked to Jax and tried to place a hand Jax, but he swung it off.

"Jax listen, look at me. I know your angry, but mano I promise you I didn't hurt you wife."

He pushed Nero off of him and shouted, "Hurt?! She's dead! She's dead! Someone murdered her in her own kitchen! You didn't see it. The sink filled with her blood!"

Chibs and Bobby moved pass Nero to try and placate Jax, but he walked away from them and into the grass.

"Where were you Juice? Huh? Speak the hell up! Where were you?!"

Before Juice had a chance to answer him, Jax bum rushed him.

He had Juice on the ground in seconds and raised a trembling fist and planted it into his face over and over and over. He stopped punching him altogether and just started to smash his balled up hand against his face. Red was the new color that Jax's fist wore. Nero moved forward to try and pull Jax back, but Chibs stopped him.

"He needs this. Both of them do."

The shouting alerted the others inside and Tig, Unser, Rat and Happy came out. Gemma quickly followed behind.

With each punch, Jax let out a cry.

The cry sounded so pitiful, like the man had just given up entirely.

Everyone just stood and watched on as Jax beat Juice nearly to death. The only thing that could've stop the man lost in his rage was something no one saw coming.

"Daddy?"

Everyone turned and saw Abel looking on at the bottom of the steps close to tears.

Fear took over him as Jax raised his head and saw his son watching on in horror. Abel ran back up the stairs and into the house. Jax helplessly looked on at his son ran from him. He looked down at Juice and threw him back down to the ground. He stood over him and looked on as Juice writhed in pain.

He brought his attention back to where Abel had taken off to and knew he should follow him, but he couldn't. His feet couldn't move in his son's direction. He saw his mother run up the stairs to go after Abel, but he himself couldn't.

"Jackie. Come inside."

"No, where are her keys?"

"Jax, brother you need some rest. Come and lie down."

"No. No, just get me her keys please. Please," his voice cracked and he looked up at Bobby with tears in his eyes, "I need to smell her." His legs could no longer support his weight and he collapsed to the ground.

"Rat. Her keys are on the counter."

Chibs walked over to him, "Come on Jackie." He pulled him up and helped him to Tara's car as Rat came down the stairs. He pressed the unlock button and Chibs yanked the door open. He placed Jax in her seat and shut the door. Chibs walked from the driver's side to the back where everyone stood.

Nero, Bobby, Happy, Rat, Tig, Chibs and Unser all gathered behind Tara's car.

And each collectively slammed their eyes shut when they heard his sobs emit from the car. Each cry just got louder and louder and harder to bear. Every one of them felt lost, but more so frightened. Frighten to see how distraught he was. One second he loses himself to rage, the next he's sobbing uncontrollably. No one knew where and when the next tragedy was going to hit anymore. Most certainly no one expected it to land where it did today.

They all turned their heads when they heard the door open. Gemma descended the stairs and approached the car. She saw Jax with his head on the steering wheel and shoulders erratically moving. His muffled wails piercing through the night.

"You guys should go inside. Watch the boys."

She turned to the passenger side door and climbed inside with Jax. She grabbed his hands and pulled him into an embrace.

"It's okay sweetheart. Everything is going to work out. We stick together and pull through, okay."

Jax pushed her off roughly and gave her a death glare.

"You don't know shit. Get out."

"Jackson I kn –" she reached a hand to grab his face, but he swatted it away.

"Leave me be."

"Jackson. You can't fall apart. We can't fall apart. Not now, our boys need us. Abel and Thomas need us to be strong."

"Stop talking and get out. The only thing my boys need is their mother. And she's gone. So get out. Please mom. Just stop."

Gemma reached for the door handle to oblige her son's wishes and looked down and saw some files on the floor of the car. Papers were scattered out of the folder and she saw her name on one them. Fear of what these papers contained compelled her to reach down, but the realization of Jax being there stopped her mid-reach. She needed him to get out of the car so she can get it to it.

"You can grieve Jackson, I won't take that away from you. But you need to man up for those boys. The only mother they know was murdered today. The other one is a junkie in rehab. They're already working against a pretty stacked deck, don't make it harder for them. Figure this out and be there for them. They need you now more than ever. I can't imagine you want me to be the one to tell them they're never going to see their mother again. So you need to get out this car and be a father." With that she shut the door.

Jax watched her walk up the stairs. Little did she know Jax did catch the move in which she leaned over to try and pick up some papers. He glanced down and picked them up himself.

His mother's name stood out to him just like it did for her. He pulled the paper out with her name and scanned it.

It was detailed accounts of altercations between Tara and his mother.

One line stood out to him,

"_**At least I would have the satisfaction of knowing you were locked up, getting fist raped until they were well into their twenties."**_

As he read the paper he felt eyes upon him, so he tore his gaze away from the paper and looked up.

He looked up to the face of his mother standing at the top of the stairs.

She scrunched her face and turned away to head back inside.

A/N: Just wanted to say thank you for the comments. They mean so much to me, they really motivate me to say the least.

Also, as I was writing this, I've been thinking about how shitty Tara and Jax's relationship turned, that if she didn't die or if she didn't even contemplate ratting how would they have repaired it. The whole conversation they had at the cabin, him telling her how he wanted to work things out after her trial. I wonder what would have happened if she didn't split. So with that thought in mind I'm probably going to start planning another piece in which she doesn't die and they try to reconcile. I'm not too sure how I'm going to piece all of that together or when, but I would really like to give that storyline a whack.


	6. Chapter 6

He couldn't bring himself to leave the car.

It was like he was wrapped in her essence. More so, their family's essence. The smell of her perfume and baby lotion swirled around the car. It was as if sitting where she sat brought her just a little closer to him.

He glanced at the paper in his hand and scrunched it up in anger. His hand screamed in protest at the aggressive movement, but that pain did nothing to distract him from the one rising in his throat.

To contemplate whether or not his mother had something to do with Tara's….

He shut his eyes and squeezed them tightly.

No. Please God, no.

He felt acid and bile start to burn its way up his throat and he so he scrambled to exit the car. He stumbled over to a nearby tree and emptied nothing but bile from his mouth. His stomach remained empty all day; the fear of what this day could hold negated his appetite throughout. All that was left was violent dry heaving.

He staggered backwards and collapsed on the edge of the driveway. He hung his head in between his knees and droplets of water started to turn the cement wet. Tears where falling all over again, but when he felt water hitting his back he looked up and saw it was raining.

The water falling from the sky mingled in with the warm tears beating a path down his face. Before he knew it, he himself couldn't tell who was crying anymore. The sky. Or him.

* * *

><p><strong>Inside Gemma's House<strong>

"Someone should bring him inside. He's gonna get sick just sitting out there." Gemma poured hot water from the stainless steel kettle into a black ceramic cup. She picked up a chamomile tea bag and dunked it into the steaming water.

"He wants to be left alone, mama. And can you blame him? He's shouldering all of this wreckage on his head."

She brought the cup to her lips and as she took a sip, her eyes fluttered close.

"It's not his fault. We're gonna find out who did this and gut the bastard." Tig said from his position at the dining room table.

As soon as those words left his lips, Unser and Juice both came hobbling out of the bathroom and into the kitchen. Unser helped clean up Juice's wounds, while the others helped put Thomas and Abel down for bed.

"I'm afraid some of these are gonna need stitches." Unser walked further into the kitchen leaving Juice to stand in the corner.

"I'll give a call to one of my clients, he's a friend. Same guy who patched up Clay." Nero reached into his pocket and pulled his cell out.

"Here, why don't you and I help Juice in the guest room." Gemma placed the cup down on the kitchen counter and moved one arm under Juice's shoulder. She caught his eye and helped him walk towards the back of her house, while telling him everything is going to okay. Nero followed behind to give her a helping hand.

That left Tig, Happy, Rat, Unser, and Bobby spread out between the kitchen and dining room.

"We need to figure out who did this and cut their goddamn heads off." Tig looked at Happy and nodded his head in agreement to his suggestion to kill the bastard.

Rat moved over to the dining room table and sat next to Tig, "We should wait for Jax, shouldn't we?"

"There's some stuff we were going to bring to the table after Jax was taken in, but at this point I don't think it really matters. The boy is checked out for now." Bobby got up from the kitchen table and wobbled over to the head of the dining room table and sat.

"It's about that RICO case the cartel was holding over us. You already know we made RICO because Otto flipped inside, he gave up past crimes but someone else at our table gave up present crimes making it possible in the first place."

Chibs, who sat to the left of Bobby, leaned forward and rested his forearms onto the table. He scanned his brothers' bewildered faces.

"Juice."

The entire table, except Bobby, stared at Chibs at his revelation.

"Jackie kept it away from the table because he needed Juice alive to get proof that Clay was behind the nomads. Him and Clay were buddying up and Juice had a suspicion that he was behind the attacks. Frankie Diamonds told Juice, in turn Juice told Jax. After Clay went to county, Jackie decided to try and give Juice a chance because the leverage they had against him was that his father was black. The idiot thought we were going to cut him out and kill him."

Bobby read the facial expressions of his brothers and fury flashed in all their eyes.

"Today though Jax pulled a pin on that pardon. Said he was wrong and that Juice couldn't be trusted. We don't know why he took it back, but my guess after that display, Jax has a feeling what happened today was Juice." Bobby sat back and watched the news sit in the hearts of his brothers. Betrayal stung close to their hearts.

The other shoe, however, had to also drop, with that he leaned forward once again.

'There's more. Today after we left the boneyard. Shit went down. Alavarez killed the Niners at the meet and took the guns. The way things are panning out it's looks like a blood war is brewing and we're in the middle of it."

Tig tilted his chair back and balanced it on two legs, "The way I see it, black is in our corner, the Chinks aren't and from what happened today, neither is Alavarez. It's possible that Tara was retaliation from the Chinese for Grandpa Lin."

Chibs shook his head, "But why kill a cop? Why go after her when there's cop truck parked right outside? It makes no sense."

"Dead sheriff in SAMCRO's president's home? It's brings that noise at our doorstep that's why." Tig argued back at Chibs.

"It's not Lin's style and you know that. You saw it for yourself, nothing about that was a message. If it _were_ retaliation from the _Chinks_ then there would have been a clear message, one where we didn't have to scratch our goddamn heads at. Not to mention, they would have waited for Roosevelt to clear out."

Tig abruptly brought the chair back to all four of its legs, "So what are you suggesting?"

"You think Juice had something to do with it," Happy chimed in.

"I think we need to start looking at that possibility."

All of a sudden the door in the kitchen was violently pushed open.

All men at the table took to their feet, hands at the ready to pull their weapon.

The sound of wet sneakers on the tile was the second thing they heard. Soaking wet, Jax walked into the kitchen and looked at his brothers.

A storm more vicious than the one periling outside brewed behind Jax's eyes, "Where the hell is my mother?"

* * *

><p>AN: Thank you so much for all the love. I know this one is epically shorter than the others, but I felt like this was an appropriate place to end it. I was thinking about all the details of Tara and Roosevelt's murder and I know when season 7 begins Kurt Sutter is probably gonna drag out the revelation of their murderers, but in the context of my story it just doesn't make sense. There is just way to many arrows pointing at Juice at this point. Gemma, however, that shoe may take longer in the show and in my story.

Also just wanted to say I started and posted my other story that I was talking about. It's called With You I Am Born Again. It's basically a 'what, if' story, a what if Tara didn't take the kids and plan to rat. What if her and Jax really did try to figure everything out after her trial. Anyways, if you're interested in that premise I would really love it if you went and checked it out.

Thanks again :) XOXO


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Just want to say again, thanks for all the love. Really inspires me to right even more compelling dialogue. This chapter was a little harder to write because I'm toying with a small time jump, like a couple of days max, just along enough for forensics and Patterson to build her case up. Anyways once again thank you so much. Read & Review :) XOXO**

* * *

><p>With the sound of hearing the door in the kitchen being violently ripped open, cold hard terror ran straight down her spine. Her hands began to tremble at the impending revelation of today's events. Her fingertips went numb and her eyes could no longer focus on Abel.<p>

The feel of a familiar hand on her thigh, yanked her out of fear stricken state.

"It's okay. Stay here, I'll go see what's going on."

Nero stood from the child's red wooden chair that decorated the room and placed a hand on her shoulder. Before he had the chance to move it away, she reached out and squeezed it.

With her eyes glued to Abel's sleeping face she brought his hand to her lips and kissed it. She nuzzled his hand sweetly, manipulatively.

"I need you to lie and say I was with you."

Confusion spread itself across Nero's face.

"Mama, what are you talking about?" He pulled his hand from hers.

As he opened his mouth for further questions, the door quietly swung open to reveal Unser.

"Jax is um… looking for you Gem." He wearily watched Gemma, afraid of whatever was coming next, was going to be downright violent.

Nero left the room first, just in case there was a need to placate the upcoming situation. He wanted to serve as a buffer between whoever was in the room and Gemma.

He stepped out to see everyone on their feet around the dining room table, the atmosphere tense. He looked behind the men, into the kitchen and saw Jax with his back turned to everyone. He was bent over the kitchen counter, his hands bracing the marble with a crumbled paper in his right. The rage rolled off of him in waves and his mind instantly flashed back to Gemma's plea to lie. Dread began to inkle its way down his spine to what that plea meant.

Movement from behind tore him away from his thoughts; he turned to make brief eye contact with Gemma before she walked around the table and into the kitchen. Unser on her heel. When she approached Jax, Nero found himself quickly moving to her side.

"What'd you need?" Broke him from his reverie. Hearing his mother's voice made red bleed into his vision. He clenched and unclenched his hands on the counter.

Rein it in. Rein it in.

He would be lying if bodily harming his mother has never crossed his mind, especially after she crashed her car, high, with his children in the backseat. But never has his hands ever felt the compulsion as they do now to lay his hands on his mother.

Rein it in.

Bobby and Chibs moved to stand by each in the junction between the dining room and kitchen, both nervously watching on. The calm rage boiling under their brother brought them back to a time when he bashed a man's head in with a snow globe. The taut muscles of his shoulders flexed over and over under his signature plain white t-shirt Tara purchased for him.

"Son?" Gemma hesitantly raised her hand to his shoulder covered by the soaked t-shirt. Feeling the muscle clench and tense under her hand, had her removing it quicker than he could tell her not to touch him.

"Jackie, what's the matter?"

Chibs brushed past Bobby, Gemma, Unser and Nero to stand by him.

"At least I would have the satisfaction of knowing you were locked up getting fist-raped until they were well into their twenties. Right, mom?" With his words, his shoulders began to jerk up and down. As if breathless laughter escaped his lungs.

"Jackson, what are you talking about?" Gemma took a step back, Unser moving backwards to clear space for her to shift spots.

"What am I talking about?" He turned on his heel slowly, as if sudden movements would break whatever little control he had on himself.

"I'm talking about how you threatened her; how you told her she would be getting fist-raped and the satisfaction you would get out of it?" His trademark sneer etched itself upon his lips.

"I told you before, I was just trying to scare her smart. I didn't mean it. And you know I had nothing to do with her going to jail. It was that marshal who turned her in, you know that."

"How about when used that junkie whore to try and come at her with some bogus oxy abuse claim? Huh? How much satisfaction did you get from that? Tell me. Speak up. You sure as hell have a lot to say when it's not your ass under fire but hers, so come on mom, speak up."

"Jax, come on mano. This isn't helping you or anyone." Nero brought his hand to Jax's shoulder in an effort to pacify him, but he quickly realized that wasn't happening when Jax cut him a look. One that oozed with the intent to hurt someone or something and Nero was praying that that anger wasn't going land on the wrong person.

"Yes Jackson I did do those things. But I would never harm her that way. I love Ta –"

"Don't you _dare_ say her name."

"Jacks –"

"Where were you today?"

Eerie silence settled in the room after Jackson dared asked his mother that question. The same question he posed for Nero and Juice. One that would implicate his mother as a suspect in his wife's murder.

The guys couldn't believe that Jax would ever toss that question at his mother. Then shock paralyzed Bobby. Everything was shifting into place for him and it painted a gruesome picture, one in which he would never want to see hung up for anyone to see. He knew Gemma, longer than most of the guys here. He knew there was a lot of love there, but he also knew there was lot of hatred that existed alongside said love. The willingness to do whatever it took to protect her family, better yet her son and grandchildren.

Bobby walked up to Jax and squeezed his way between Gemma and Jax.

He placed his good hand over Jax's chest, "Brother, look at me. Trust me, I got this. Go be with your boys. They need you with them."

He just shook his head and looked at Bobby.

"I can't see them, Bobby. I can't. Not yet. Not now. All I'll see is her. I need to this. I _need _to this."

Bobby patted his chest twice in comfort, "Then don't do it alone."

Jax looked down at Bobby in confusion as he turned from him and faced Gemma.

"Where were you today Gem? You were missing for most of it? Unser came by looking for you, said you were in a bad way."

Shock adorned Gemma's face. She couldn't believe they would ever accuse her of murdering Tara.

"Are we seriously standing here, asking me that question?" She moved around Bobby to place her hands on Jax's face. He shrugged away from her, but she fought to hold his gaze.

"Look at me son. _Look at me Jackson_. No matter what that paper you're holding says, you have to believe that I would never hurt Tara that way. Me and her may have fought, but I would never take her away from those boys. _Never_. I would _never_ hurt you like that. I know how much _loved her,_ and I would _never_ take her away from you. You _know_ that Jackson. I would never do that to you. _You know that_."

She brought her hands that were framing his to waist and held him. Hot bullets of tears burned their way down her face. He brought his hands up, as if to embrace his mother, but instead he grabbed her shoulders and pushed her away.

Without making eye contact, "Watch the kids for me okay. I gotta go do something."

The sound of the rain beating against the house grew in sound when he opened the door.

"Unser. I need your help, grab your keys." He stepped outside without a care of the rain and descended the stairs.

Unser looked at Bobby and Chibs as he left, "I'll watch out for him."

* * *

><p>"You want to me where we're going son?"<p>

Jax squeezed the wheel of Unser's truck.

"You'll know once we get there."

* * *

><p>Gemma sat on her bed crying on Nero's shoulder for the last ten minutes. He let her get it all out before moving away from her. As she left the room to go to the bathroom, he moved to sit in the chair located in the corner of the room next to the dresser. He heard the water run for what seemed like five minutes, but really only one. She walked out toweling her face off. She tossed it on the bed and sat on the bench at the foot of her bed staring at him. Her face no longer had make up and the wear and tear not only from the day but the years, vividly shown on her face. Her eyes were puffy and red from all the crying and her nose resembled that of clowns'.<p>

Somber silence sat still between them. She tried to hold onto it for as long as she could, but Nero was having none of it.

"So where were you today, Gem? Why'd you want me to lie?" He leaned over and carefully scrutinized her every move. Not one made it pass him.

"You saw him out there. He's all caught up in that hate he would have never believed me."

He gently nodded, "Well, how about you try me on for size mama?"

"After you so conveniently decided to dump me, today of all days, I came back here. I smoked a joint and drank some. Anything to numb the pain. Wayne shows up and tells me that Jax is going away. I…I…I just had to get out of there. Wayne blocked me in so I took his truck. I drove over to Jax's and started to do some cleaning, she left the place a goddamn mess. I couldn't settle down ya know, and what you said today really got to me. And I couldn't leave well enough alone with you. You know me. So I drove back up to Diosa, looking to pick a fight with you, but I couldn't go in. I sat outside in the back for about an hour or two. Nubs kept calling me and I really didn't want hear any more bad news today, so I shut my phone off."

She crossed her right leg over her left and shifted in Nero's direction, "You gotta believe me on this Nero. I didn't do this. That's the truth." She raised both hands in acquiescence. "That's all I've got."

Nero rocked back in the chair, focusing on his hands folded together. Mulling over the information Gemma just laid out to him. The want to believe her flooded throughout his being, however, his instinct told him to press her. That what she just spit out of her mouth wasn't the whole truth.

Gemma watched Nero stand and walk over to where she was sitting, completely stoic. Completely unpredictable.

He inched closer to the bench and painstakingly took his time sitting. He turned to face her and held her eyes with his.

"I believe that's your truth Gemma. I don't doubt that truth, however, what I'm looking for is the _truth._"

* * *

><p>Jax drove down main street to pull up at the ice cream shop he left four hours ago.<p>

"What are we doing son?" Unser scanned the street outside his window to check for anyone else. Something that might have been off, something that explained what Jax was up to.

"I gotta grab some things. Stay here, I'll be back." He opened the door slowly and closed the door in a halfhearted manner.

While Jax went inside the ice-cream shop Unser sat in the truck and let his thoughts wander to Tara. He couldn't help but feel responsible.

All she ever wanted was a better life for her children. She saw the writing on the wall of what this life eventually leads to.

Death or jail.

Both things in which she unfortunately experienced. Someone who was, in the grand scheme of things, virtually innocent.

Now he wondered how those children were ever going to escape this life, she was the only one in this life who could actually make it outside this place. And be successful.

As he mulled through his thoughts, the driver door was pulled open. The first thing he saw was a brown cardboard box sliding into the space between the driver seat and the passenger side. Miller Lite printed on the side. Jax slid in after the box and shut the door.

Unser's eyes moved from the box of beer to Jax as he started the car once again. Understanding passed through him.

"I get it. Now you mind telling me what you needed help for? I hardly think you're looking for a drinking buddy."

Nothing is what Jax used to pacify Unser's curiosity and nothing is what passed between them as they drove up to Charming's cemetery.

As they came to a stop, so did the rain.

"Grab the box and follow me." Jax left the car and started to make his way through the cemetery with a disturbing familiarity. He walked past headstone after headstone and made his way to the one that meant the most to him in this graveyard.

As Unser came to stand by him, Jax took the box from him and placed in next Opie's grave. Jax then followed it and sat in the wet grass. He unsheathed the knife that was permanently glued to his right hip and used it to slice open the box. He ripped open the case and yanked out a bottle from the box. He sat it in between his bent legs. He used the knife to pop open the cap before once again sheathing the knife. He reached around to his back and pulled a glock out and calmly placed it on the cement surrounding Opie's grave.

"I'm going to you two chances to give me the answers I want or you'll be personally digging your own grave. And look around closely, there's a lot of open space."

He brought the bottle up to his lips and looked at Unser. Fear and shock danced in his eyes. A smile graced his mouth at that sight.

"You know, I've been wondering if that's what her eyes looked like. If she even had the chance to sit with what was coming." He lifted the bottle to his mouth once more and went for a long drag this time around.

"Tara told me you were good to her so I'm trying to hold whatever I'm feeling inside. I'm trying harder than you can ever imagine to not let it take over. Not to….."

He hung his head low and slightly shook it, as if to say not now. He brought his gaze up to pin Unser with a deadly look, "I want you tell me what happened today. She took your truck and went somewhere. No one knows where she took off to and I'm going to you first with this because you are someone I can find myself hesitating to kill. Juice..….. well you saw how well that went. So I'm trying to insert a middle man, before I pull the plug on Juice. So I _need _you to tell me what you said to her before you came to see me."

Unser took a step forward and sighed heavily.

"Son, I've known your mom for a long time. I know her better than anyone, I used to g –"

Jax sharply cut him another look as he took the bottle from his mouth, "You just wasted one chance. You better get it right the second time 'round."

Unser shook his head and took a step back, "Fine. After I dropped Wendy off at that rehab center, I we –"

"The hell are you doing with that junkie whore?" He emptied the bottle, tossed into the box and reached for another.

"Your mom was taking care of her….. until a spot opened up at the rehab in Stockton."

"How philanthropic of her. Keep going."

"After I dropped her off, I kept trying her you mom's cell, but she wasn't picking up. I got a call from Tara's lawyer, asking for some old Charming police records on you. When I got to her place she was in a pretty bad way. High and pretty much wasted. She was gone. I told her that they were arresting you. I made sure to block in her Caddy with my truck so she couldn't leave, but um… she played me. Made me go get her heart meds, she took off with my truck. I went over to see you right after."

Jax sat stoic, while playing with the bottle cap. He held the neck of the beer with his index and middle finger and let it sway between them. Letting what Unser told him swirl around like the alcohol in the bottle. He took another drink and brought his head back against Opie's headstone.

"When we were teenagers she always used to say it's stupid to have a body just sitting there under the ground. Just burn it and call it a day."

"Sound very doc –"

"I always used to argue back at her, saying graves were not for the dead. They're for the loved ones they leave behind, for them to say the things they didn't get a chance to say, to visit them. To pay their respects. Her case was always that it that sounded like a personal problem. Why should I have to be left to rot underground because you couldn't say what you wanted to say while I was alive. That's not my problem, that's a you problem. You want to pay me my 'respect' how about you don't put me six foot under. Just burn me and scatter my ashes to the wind. Once my heart stops beating, I'm no longer me."

"She always did mak –"

"But Ope, where are they supposed to go and visit their mom when they miss her. How am I going to explain to them that I scattered mommy to the wind because that's what she wanted when she was seventeen." Silence stretched on before he confessed, "Where am I going to go when I miss her?"

The realization that this broken man was talking to his best friend tore at the little life he had left. Hearing him caught in his thoughts had him stepping back from Opie's grave. As he moved away he saw the moonlit face of Donna. Deep sadness made its way to the pit of his stomach.

Dead wives. Dead mothers. Birds of a feather.

He started to make his way back to his truck to give Jax his privacy, "I didn't say you could leave. I still want more answers."

He glanced back to see Jax finishing off his second beer and reaching in for his third.

"You see you're wrong about one thing. You don't know my mother better than anyone else_. I know_ my mother better than anyone, and I know she is a woman capable of hurting my wife. Taking her away from her children. I'm not delusional to that possibility, because I'm my mother's child, she raised me. And I am man capable of doing the same thing. I _did_ take an innocent woman from her children. So I sat out there wondering, what could bring my mother to the point of doing that. What took _me_ to _that_ place?"

He brought his head up from Ope's headstone and looked left. Tears careened down Jax's face, hope spilling from his eyes and leaving his body. The hope that used to reside in him trickled down and became food to the green grass growing all around the dead bodies underneath.

"When you went to tell her about me getting arrested, did you tell her Tara ratted?"

Unser shook his head, "I told her I wasn't sure, but it looked like she may have. I didn't tell her for sure. Jax just beca –"

"Leave."

"Jax you can't ju –"

His right hand went to the gun hidden behind the box and lifted it, "Unser get in your car and leave before the hesitation fades."

After he got in his car and drove off Jax reached in for his fourth beer.

"Just when everything starts to make sense Ope, I find myself some place I never saw coming."

Sobs passed through his lips, the beer dangling in his hand dropped to the ground.

The air in the cemetery heard the very familiar sounds of a mourning loved one left behind and beckoned for the sky to open up to drown their cries. To help hide the tragic sound escaping their lips, to help hide their pain.

The heavy bullets of water falling from the sky mixed in with alcohol seeping into the soil, a symbol of the man forsaken by what gave him life.


End file.
